lemur_bandit (lemur_bandit) wrote,

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 Yesterday was the shittiest day alive that transitioned to the best night ever,  it was totally fucking amazing.  First, the night before yesterday found out that Chris found himself a new girl. Wtf mate?!?! I would be totally cool with it if he told me before he decided to pork her, or like if we were actually broken up...but fuck it...im done with pedaphiles.  So had like a brief convo with her then she said "if you're so curious then why dont u call?" so i fucking call that mother fucker and so i asked what her name was and she said "im not comfortable telling you right now.." WHAT THE FUCK!! Is she afraid of a fucking 17 year old pyscho bitch er something??  Talked to that mother fucker and just lost it, i've heard all the sorrys i could bare...i was just gonna break down and cry and say the typical "how could you do this to me?" "i thought we were soul mates" but no... fuck that, i just wished them the best of fucking luck and hung up. No more azn pedaphile in my life...so i had to peace him out...cuz i guess he just wanted to keep me around....for what? i have no fucking clue.  So yesterday, woke up feeling like awful shit, heart hurting, empty stomach, and knowing i had to go to work. 
WORK:  Lisa and i are chill and shit so we were talking in the back, and i said something about Jacki, then she asked "What the fuck did she say about me?" and i told her....then i stopped and was like "...i wanna tell you something else but then i dont wanna start any drama" then Lisa said "no, its ok...tell meeee" So i said "Jacki said you were white trash" and then i was gonna say, and i agreed with her, but then she fucking exploded...and i got scared shitless.  So when Jacki came in, of course Lisa told Jacki that i told her what she said, so Lisa called the owner of the store telling her what Jacki said. So Jacki started crying like a mother fucker...then i only had 2 mins left till i had to leave  and all i had to do was check out my drawer until....dun dun dun....Jacki comes up and says "Lisa talked to me...." and i instantly knew what about and my mouth dropped and the first thing out of my mouth was "22.....uhhhhhhhhh...." So apparently i have a verbal warning now and i had to appologize to Lisa cuz i didn't tell her the whole truth...but fuck man...Lisa may be little but she can fucking kill you, if she doesnt kill you she has peeps that could.  So i was gonna txt Lisa to talk to her one on one without Jacki starring at me and crying...but what do you know...a txt from 858-442-2890 and it read "i know this is the farthest thing you are probably thinking about right now, but could we still be friends?" i read it and had to think who it was...then i remembered...OHHH YA that dip shit got a new bitch and now he still wants me in his life...how sweeeeeeeet....ttthhhhhhhhhhhhhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt. Oh my fucking shit!!! i just broke out into laughter cuz...seriously...its like a total mind fuck, then him exploiting my body, and him still wanting to be friends....thats cool he wants to...but i sure as hell cant!! After listening to him with his "Youre the one i wanna grow old with, We're soul mates and we belong together, I've never felt so comfortable with someone, I can just be myself around you, Im only Carlotta-sexual, I can only be more than just friends with you"..*. COUGH COUGH* BULL SHIT. So i had to peace the mother fucka out ...again.  
    Got home later and totally lost it cuz mom still had the framed Prom picture of me and him up...and i just couldnt look at it or be around it....then i went into my room and mon chichi is just running in her wheel...and i just broke down...theres too must shit in this house that reminds me of what we HAD....and the fact that he can just toss it over his shoulder like it was nothing hurts soo much. Plus, finding out from his new GF that he moved on...that just shot pains throughout my whole body it felt exactly  like the fucking car accident all over again...fuck. So i called Dennis and told him everything that happened and he said i deserve a night out, so he came up to Esco and picked me up and we went down to Mira Mesa to the movies. Haha he bought so much shit at the snack bar it made me wonder where the fuck it all goes.  So we watched BeerFest...fucking funny ass movie...stupid...but funny as shit. Throughout the movie Dennis and i were throwing pop corn at each other and he was feeding me rasinets...sweet shit.  So after the movie we were hungry for real food, so we went to Rubios and split  a fish taco...we were just sitting there talking and i see  a shadowy figure behind Dennis' head and i had a thought...shadow lurker....AKILAH!!! And it was Akilah and Nam, they both joined in and it was just shitzengiggles.  Dennis and i were talking about some lady's wheels on her wheelchair and how cool they are, and then he had to bust out the cripple word right when she was riiiiiiiiiiight behind him and i just busted out laughing.  So then Dennis drove me back home but we stopped near sabre springs next to the 15 to get some gas, it smelt like shit outside and Dennis couldnt handle the smell so he hopped in the pasanger side with me...and it was cool. So when we finally reached my house we just talked alot, then we hugged...then of course the good night kiss. It made me giggle inside cuz Dennis has the most facial hair i've ever seen on a 17 year old, and it made me feel like i was kissing my grandpa...but a skinnier grandpa. So that's the story of my life. 
<333 Carlo

PS: I know Chris is never going to read this, but if he does...this here, right now, is only going to mold me into a stronger person. I was nothing but weak arm candy when i was with you, so go fuck your new bitch and tell her the same lies you've told thousands of other girls, including me, and continue with your on going cycle. Your ass is going nowhere, and i have no idea what i saw in you. You were right, im so much better off without you, and i do deserve better.  I could never be your friend and plus i never was your friend... so why start now?  Now i know how you felt after you got butt raped by your boyfriend, fucking butt hurt as shit...PEACE  
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